Dealing with the success of others

Sometimes I have trouble dealing with other people's success. I think it comes down to this: I haven't accomplished what I came out to LA to do yet. Right now, I'm still unemployed (had a promising interview, but then the lazy dumbasses at my old job took my asking for a recommendation call every day for three days as "let's wait the better part of a week and write a half assed email").

I know how hard it is to succeed, especially trying to be a writer in Hollywood. I have this sense that I can't accept anyone else (especially someone younger than me) being good at this, because it leaves less room for me to succeed.

I sit here, unemployed, having spent the better part of this month just sitting around watching tv shows on Hulu. Yeah, I'm learning more about scripted dramatic TV, but really I've just gotten myself into a rut. I was great when I first got fired. I was all over sending resumes, following up with people. Then to be honest, in trying to see the bright side I got to really like staying home and relaxing like a lazy ass every day. I can't keep it up forever, but I certainly can for a month.

It's really hard out there to find the jobs that I need to get me to where I want to go. Nobody who can help you really wants to. So today, I'm getting off my ass a little more. I'm writing a treatment for a feature script, something I haven't done for a while, but think it's time to do. It'll be a sweet, saleable romantic comedy, but written more from the Knocked Up tone and dude perspective than these chick flick movies. I need something to really work on so I can feel like I'm not just being useless. And I need to have more finished projects so I can feel better about myself when saying that I'm a writer.

Ideally, in a few months I'll have finished my original spec pilot, the other pilot I'm writing with my roommate, and this script. Add that to my other feature script, my spec Heroes episode, my experience on my college TV show, and the unused college show pilot I think I'll fix up, I will have a decent amount of samples and can really pursue getting representation and work.