Something that annoys me about "How I got started" stories

As an aspiring writer, I from time to time go to panels or Q&A's with more established writers to learn things. Inevitably, someone asks the writer to tell their story of how they became a writer.

Here's how it always goes. Start with something humble. For example, "I had just moved to LA and didn't know anyone, so I was sleeping in my car parked on a random cul-de-sac in the valley." or "I had spent 6 years being a lawyer, and decided that wasn't what I wanted to do anymore, so I gave writing a shot."

That part we all get. We're assistants, waiters, caterers, or any other random peon job that woefully attempts to pay the bills while we try writing. So we all perk up to listen to the next bit, to find out how they escaped from peon-land and into the world of "wow I get paid to do this, awesome."

Here's how the stories always continue, "And then I got my agent, and he started sending me out on meetings, and I met with [some showrunner we all want to work with] and they brought me on as a staff writer."

It always skips to the "and then I got my agent" part. With no explanation. We all get that once you have CAA or WME or some agency like that you're going to get meetings. And if you're good, those meetings will eventually turn into jobs. That's not the grand mystery we came to the panel to discover.

I wish they would tell us the actual stories of just how they got representation in the first place, because that's the hurdle that we all keep getting stuck behind as we toil in obscurity. That's why I get 5 random phone calls and 6 query letters a day from wannabe writers somewhere in middle America who think that all they need to become Charlie Kaufman overnight is to open the yellow pages and start calling numbers listed under "agency."

So if anyone who reads this is a writer who will speak at a panel for aspiring writers, tell us the REAL story. Was it the one query letter that got through? Doubtful. More likely it's that you met an agent at a party or something and hit it off. Or someone owed you a favor for helping them move a sofa/bedroom set/dead body from their house. Or you were sleeping with somebody who was an agent/worked for an agent/was also sleeping with an agent.

What it could also be is that most agents will look at other writers one of their writer clients say to look at. Maybe that's how everyone gets their agent. And maybe that's the reason writers don't talk about that part, because then every aspiring writer will start pestering THEM with the query letters and phone calls to try to bring their "really original idea" to their agent.

Right now we're at a stage where the whole industry doesn't know what's coming next. Everyone in power cut their teeth during the mid 90's "must see tv" era or earlier. They don't know what to make of new media, though smart companies are making deals with Netflix. Business as usual is still good enough business that nobody needs to look ahead. And until they do start looking ahead, it's going to be tough for the young aspiring writers. In the meanwhile, we just have to keep at it I suppose.

Shacked up

It's been a busy week with no internet yet at the new apartment, so I haven't been able to post yet about life post-moving in with Writress.

In short, it's great.

It's been really fun setting the place up, and since Writress is on hiatus from her show she's been home all day doing domestic stuff. I've even been able to come home for lunch a couple days this week since my commute is only about 10 minutes now. She did all that stuff I never would have thought to do like putting contact paper in all the drawers and getting a nice looking shower curtain thing to go outside the curtain liner I already had.

It feels good having all our stuff together. The way we always hung out at my old place all the time it was practically like we were living together anyway, so it's almost easier having none of the hassle involved in shuttling between our apartments. I keep really looking forward to going home at the end of the day.

This weekend will be busy, but it'll also be really nice as the first real weekend in our new place. Then I only have one more week of work before we go back to Cape Cod for two weeks, and I REALLY can't wait for that.

Selling my girlfriend's bed to an ex

There hasn't been much in the way of spare blogging time lately. I'm moving this weekend.

Writress already has all her stuff basically packed up. She's bringing some of it over to my place tonight so we'll be able to drop it off tomorrow once we have our keys. She doesn't have too much furniture, so I think we'll be able to take her stuff and my stuff over in one trip.

We decided to take my bed to the new apartment. Writress's bed was given to her by a friend, who said she should just sell it rather than deal with the expense/hassle of giving it back. So using craigslist we tried to find someone, with no luck. Then I posted on Facebook about it. I got one response. It was a girl I used to go out with.

My first summer in LA I dated a girl, let's call her Boo. She was interning out her before her final year of college, so it was meant to be a fun summer thing. I was still in my post-CollegeGirlfriend phase and wasn't looking for anything too serious. Boo got very into me, and it became more of a relationship than either of us anticipated, but before things progressed too much she went back to school. She still had interest in getting back together when she got out of school, but she only spent a couple weeks out her after she graduated (during which time I made a point not to hook up with her and restart the cycle) before she went overseas for the next year or so.

When she finally got back to LA, I was dating Writress already. So Boo and I have seen each other a few times since then, and she even came to my birthday beer tasting and there was no drama. Nevertheless, I tried to make an effort not to rub my new relationship in her face.

So the reason Boo responded about the bed is that she's looking to move in a month, and wants a new bed. She asked me if it was my mattress, thinking it would be funny since she helped me pick it out during that summer we were dating and hooking up all the time. When she heard that it was Writress's and not mine, she still wanted it. So rather than getting the bed she once had sex with me on, she's getting the bed that I've had sex with another girl on.

A friend of ours had already told her that I was moving in with Writress, so luckily I was spared any awkwardness there. It seems like Boo is truly over me at this point, and for that I'm glad because she's a very nice girl and it would be nice to be able to see her without worrying that I was giving her the wrong impression in some way.

We're dropping the bed at her place before loading up the truck with all my stuff. We'll see if it's awkward, but I'm thinking it won't be. I think that this is good, and maybe I can finally get to the point that I can genuinely remain friends with someone I've slept with. Not that I'm on bad terms with exes, we just don't hang out ever or talk much.

But likely the next time I post on this blog it will not only be August, but I will officially be cohabitating with my girlfriend. Stay tuned for what follows.

Moving, and car accidents

About a week ago I was driving home from work when a high school kid drove into moving traffic trying to cross the street. Nobody was hurt luckily, but while there was only superficial damage to his bumper, he hit my car square in the front driver's side tire. It messed up my fenders, door, suspension, and a bunch of other stuff. I know I was not at fault, and I have the other driver and two insurance companies backing me up on that. I've been driving around in a rental car, and now have to deal with body shop guys who want money in advance, and it's a whole pain in the ass situation.

But in happy news, Writress and I found our apartment. We're moving in August 1st. We'll have a couple weeks to settle in, then we're both flying back to Boston to spend two weeks with my family. Despite the face that I've met her entire family multiple times now, Writress hasn't been able to meet my parents or brother, and I'm really looking forward to showing her around the east coast.

The new apartment is a bit on the cozy side, but it seems like a nice building full of fun people. There's no pool or fitness center, but since I don't really use those in my own building, I think I'm better off just not paying for them in my rent. It's right off the Sunset Strip in Hollywood, with lots of cool stuff nearby including a cool comic show that I've never been in before this past weekend. And luckily we didn't even need to pay for WestSideRentals or anything like that to find the place. We just took a day to drive around looking for buildings with "NOW LEASING" signs. If they didn't answer the phone on a Saturday, we took it as a sign from the gods that it wasn't meant to be.

The actual moving process will probably be a pain with renting trucks and moving furniture, and trying to get all the stuff that we need to live on. For example, neither of us has a set of dishes, since roommates provided that in the past. All of that will be somewhat time consuming and expensive I bet, but once we get past that point I think we'll both be able to save some money since we're each paying less rent than we were previously.

Once we're moved in, I'm not nervous at all. I think it's just going to be really fun living with a best friend I can share a bed with. Every day will have the freedom of "having the place all to ourselves." So hopefully I can get through the logistically tricky moving part, and on to the fun part.

After that, we can just enjoy ourselves while working towards the next step.

Day jobs

Nobody wants to be that cliche who claims to be an actor/writer/director/poet/god knows what when their real job has just been working the same random retail or restaurant job for 10 years. In some parts of the country there are career waiters, or people who start as an underling at a retail store and then end up managing the whole thing. There is nothing wrong with that. But you don't want to be the person claiming to be something you're not, when it's obvious to everyone that it's never gonna happen.

So for writers especially, we get assistant jobs. Writress is on hiatus from her show. She has a job waiting for her when it comes back, she just hasn't heard if it's been picked up for another season yet. She doesn't want to burn through all her savings, but she wants to have some time to write (which she didn't have when working 14 hour days on the show) and she wants to be able to come back to Boston with me when I have two weeks off in August. Plus, some apartments might have issue with renting to us if one of us is unemployed.

Studio temp places seem to put her info in a database, but she's not sure if she can get enough/any work through that. She doesn't want to apply for jobs that want a one year commitment, because she may be going back to her old job in September or October.

I suggested that she just get a regular summer job working at a store or something. Since she has her show likely coming back, it's not like she'll inadvertently become a career retail worker at Pottery Barn. As it is now, she can have flexible hours to write, get a bit of money, not have the stress, and possibly even get an employee discount on things she might want. Plus, it's a good way to meet some people who aren't necessarily entertainment industry, and therefore gain some useful insight or character inspiration.

So really, until we start getting paid to write, there is no one right way to go about doing things. I think you need to just take stock of your specific situation, and make the best decision from there. At the moment for Writress, the best thing she could do to help further her writing career may be to get a job that has nothing to do with entertainment.

Fun weekend

So my weekend was pretty fun. Mostly consisted of following Writress to fun premiere events and getting free stuff, so that was pretty good.

The actual premiere was on Wednesday night, and it was a really fun night. I got to meet more of her work friends, who are great people, and get a glimpse of what I'd like to be able to have someday when I create a show.

Then Saturday morning we had a lot of fun having Pacific Park at the Santa Monica Pier rented out for the show. Got to play a bunch of fun carney games and go on the rollercoaster as many times as we wanted for free. Then last night was a party for the actual airing of the show at the house of one of the executive producers. It was very nice, and despite the fact that Writress and I were the youngest people there and only assistant level, the host was very gracious and spoke with us. It was nice to think that we're not as far away from making it as it sometimes seems.

On our way back from the Pier we stopped at a street in Hollywood where a friend recommended we look at an apartment. There were so many for rent signs that we ended up going into a nicer looking building, and found that they had a unit in there that could work for us that's totally in our price range. We're not going to pull the trigger on any one place until we've done more research, but it did help make things feel more real that we're starting to look at places. Later in the day we walked around my current neighborhood and wrote down more addresses and phone numbers.

August 1st is our date that we're aiming to move. Writress's roommate already has someone lined up for her place though, so if needed we could move as early as July 15th. We may wait for Writress to sign on with a Studio temping agency or something first though, since some buildings want to make sure you're employed first for the credit check. We're waiting to see if her show gets picked up, which would mean she has a job waiting for her in the fall.

Actually looking at places together doesn't scare me, it's fun and exciting. I didn't see myself doing this kind of thing until I was engaged, but honestly, I'm not worried about that. We're not quite ready to get engaged, but I love Writress and know that it's only a matter of time before I figure out everything that goes along with buying an engagement ring and proposing.

We watched a movie called TIMER on Saturday night that was about a device that gets implanted on your wrist and tells you the day you'll meet "The One" for you. Writress asked me if I would get one if they were available. I told her I didn't need one and kissed her, and wasn't bullshitting at all. In that situation you really can't say anything else, but I still meant it.

In other news, this weekend was also the wedding for my College Ex. I haven't heard from any of my friends who were there yet, but I can't help but be curious. I'm in no way jealous because I'm glad we broke up and I'm much happier with Writress, but since she was such an important part of my life for so long I can't just not care. It feels like an old friend that I lost touch with is getting married.

And so, that's what's going on in my life now. Expect more apartment hunting updates as the month goes on.

Going to a premiere tonight

A year and a half ago I got a suit, just in case I'd ever need it. Tonight I'll be wearing it for the first time. It just goes to show that there aren't many occasions in Los Angeles where you can't get in wearing a pair of jeans.

In fact, I could probably get away with not wearing the suit tonight, but I'm not going to. Tonight is the premiere for Writress's show, so we're doing the whole red carpet thing. I get to get off work an hour early (since I'll be going in an hour early one day next week) and it should be a fun evening.

Writing-wise I've been a bit lazy the last few days, partly because Writress turned me on to a trilogy of books called The Farseer Trilogy that's captured my attention. I'm nearly done with the second book, so I should come back to reality soon. I've opted not to try to apply to the ABC fellowship, partly because I know I don't have any connections for it, and partly because money is a bit tight right now with bills and my upcoming trip to see Writress's family in Colorado, so it's not worth it to pay the entrance fees. I want to also save what I can for moving costs and new stuff Writress and I will need for our apartment.

I'm really psyched to live with her. Once we're settled we'll both be able to live cheaper and happier, until we get to the point where we likely have more money than we can spend.