Thursday, September 2, 2010

An annoyance

Life is pretty good for me now. Things are great living with Writress. She met my whole family back east and everyone got along great. Now that I'm paying less rent I'm starting to save some more money.

But there was one thing that happened in the past week that I found to be somewhat ridiculous. I was flipping through things that had been posted on various twitter feeds while I was gone, including one for my college classmates. I don't follow most individuals on the list, but I look at the full list from time to time to get a sense of where everyone is. One of the things I saw was that my CollegeEx had posted something about being happy she'd done a friend purge on facebook because for the first time in a while there was nothing in her newsfeed that pissed her off. I checked, and sure enough she'd de-friended me. Again.

The first time she did it was a few months after we graduated, which was about 8 or 9 months after we'd broken up. It was a bit immature of her, but we had dated for three and a half years and she took the breakup badly so I can understand why she'd want to do that. Then two years ago, we got back in touch and re-friended. We weren't best buddies or anything, but it was nice that we could be cordial and stay in touch. I think part of why she felt secure enough to do that was that unbeknownst to me she was in a serious relationship with another of our friends from school. As I posted on this blog previously, I found out that they were dating when they posted pictures of the night they got engaged.

We've exchanged messages at random times and birthdays, and when they got married earlier this summer I mailed them a card saying congratulations. I didn't expect an invite, but I was hoping that over the years we could continue to be friendly.

And now, she's defriended me. One of our mutual friends told me that he didn't think it was anything personal about me or what I was posting, but I don't buy it. There may have been something else that prompted it, but she still did it to me. One of the people that's still on her list is one of my best friends that I know for a fact she hasn't spoken with since we dated, so I know it's not just one of those "haven't talked to this person in months" kind of purges. It was a targeted effort to remove things that upset her from her facebook newsfeed.

I looked at what I had been posting a few days prior to this purging, and there were a lot of pictures of Writress and I. Some were of us moving into the new apartment, others were of all of us during the visit to see my family. And there was also a series of pictures from when I gave Writress a tour of my old college hangouts.

It's been a long time since I spoke with CollegeEx in person or over the phone, but I still know her as a person well enough to picture what happened. She probably got stressed out, initially due to something work related. She was always very susceptible to getting stressed out to a point that it hindered her ability to get things done. Something prompts her to start a purging, and pictures of me living happily with someone else were enough to get her angry with me.

So four and a half years after our college relationship ended, she's still acting like a middle school girl about it. She held on just long enough for me to see evidence of her getting married to one of our friends in a room full of the rest of our friends. I wasn't upset or angry, rather I genuinely wished her well. And once that was over with she was unable to remain friendly and cordial with me.

Maybe she didn't intend for me to even realize I'd been de-friended. Or maybe she did want to hurt me in some juvenile way. I'm not hurt though. I'm annoyed that things seemed to have reverted to middle school drama when I was hoping to remain friends, but I'm not hurt. Really this childish behavior just reinforces the fact that I'm incredibly happy that I broke up with her rather than latch myself onto her for the rest of my life. I had a lot of great experiences with all sorts of women after we broke up. Enough things have happened in my life that I can say with confidence and without regret that Writress is the right person for me.

I'll continue to email CollegeEx on her birthday as I always have, but not try and initiate anything other than that. If I end up going to my 5 year reunion and see her, great. If not, I don't care. All that's left is a curiosity to see how she'll react when I eventually propose to Writress. Will she ignore me or act petty in some way? Or will she do what I did and wish me well? I guess only time will tell but it'll be interesting to find out.

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