Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Lap dogs and signs of the Apocalypse

So a movie just came out this past weekend, called "Beverly Hills Chihuahua". It grossed $29.3 million for the weekend.

All us Hollywood assistant types heard about this movie months ago. We all hoped it was just a sick joke, but no, there it was: a trailer with 5,000 Taco Bell dogs singing. Surprisingly, we all had the same response to it independent of one another.

We said, "This must be a sign of the Apocalypse."

Cut to this week, when the movie proves that it's not a cruel joke, that it's a real movie, and worst of all, it's the number one movie in the box office that weekend.

Tim Robbins was on the Daily Show last night and got to talking about it. Guess what his analysis of it was: "It's a sign of the Apocalypse."

We have meteors the size of SmartCars crashing into the Earth, the financial markets crashed down so hard that people are starting to stock up on canned goods and are hiding their money in their mattresses. These are also not good signs.

Is the universe trying to warn us that we're going to have a repeat of the William Henry Harrison/John Tyler Presidency if McCain/Palin wins?

For those who need a little refresher, William Henry Harrison was our ninth President. He was known for serving only a month in office because he gave the longest inauguration address in presidential history, with no overcoat, on a very cold day in March (it was years later that they moved inauguration up to January). Since he was the first President to die in office, the line of succession wasn't as clearly defined as it is today. John Tyler, who had been VP for a month, became President. Now he wasn't all that bad I guess as far as Presidents in the 1840's go, but there was still a lot of uproar about it.

So look at today. John McCain has wanted to be President for so long he's willing to throw out all of his principles and scruples to get it, so if he wins, you know he's going to savor the moment like crazy. This time the inauguration will be in January. It can get cold in Washington. He's 72. While we do have much better doctors today than William Henry Harrison had in 1845, common sense tells you not to leave an old man out in the cold that long. McCain might go all out, and jeopardize his health. If he died in office, we'd have President Palin. How frightening is that?

We have all these signs of the Apocalypse, and an important election coming up. Take it as a warning and please vote everybody.

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