Thursday, April 1, 2010

Dating without benefits

I was talking to a friend of mine about this weird situation she's in. Her best friend is a guy. They've hooked up in the past, to what extent, I'm not sure. They're pretty much codependent at this point, and hang out with each other constantly. Both admit that with the amount of time and dedication they have to each other, they really couldn't fit a real relationship with someone else. To me, this sounds like dating.

But here's the kicker: they're not sleeping together. Or rather, she's not sleeping with him. He still tries, and why wouldn't he? If you get along that well with someone you're attracted to, why deny yourself from being with each other completely? Especially since their relationship basically cock blocks them with other people too. I just don't get it.

They're not friends with benefits, they're the opposite. They're dating without benefits.

And I find that to be kind of stupid.

I can see not wanting to get involved with someone because you're worried about how it'll affect your friendship, or because you know that long-term it's a disaster, or that you realize 30 is rapidly approaching and you don't want to waste any time in a relationship that isn't "the one." But if that's the case, why take yourself off the market like this while still hanging out with this person constantly?

My guess is that there are some deeper issues at play here, because honestly, as happy as these two are as friends, they're already dating, whether they acknowledge it or not. And this day in age, it's okay for people who are dating to screw. It's healthy. It's fun.

Writress is my best friend right now. We hang out, enjoy the same things. Some of those things we both happen to enjoy are having sex and sharing a bed with somebody. And that's the way it should be.

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