Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Update on MissCrazy

Sorry I posted a rant about work yesterday instead of something joyous about the inauguration. Trust me, I'm psyched about it. Yesterday started as a great day, but then the annoyance of work stuff made me crash from the good and it drove me nuts.

So with MissCrazy, I'm pretty much back with her. Except I haven't seen her since the night she stayed over when we made up. Over the weekend we were supposed to hang out multiple times, but it never happened. I kept offering to do stuff, but she kept passing, saying stuff like how she was staying in for the night. To be honest, it kind of annoyed me.

My gut tells me that she was probably having the same kind of freak outs she'd been having before, and chose to just hide away rather than break up with me and regret it again, which is at least a step in the right direction, because if she pulled that again I'm gone, and she knows that.

She got to go to the inauguration, and so for much of yesterday afternoon I was getting these text messages from her when she was totally wasted on "Obama-tini's". She was using all caps, and kept saying how much she missed me. I think just being at a wild drunken party made her want to hook up, and therefore wish I was there.

I'm proceeding very cautiously. I don't know why the sudden mood swings with regards to me are happening. I don't know if she was seeing some other guy when she was supposed to be hanging out with me.

In all honesty, I know this girl isn't the one. I have fun when I hang out with her, but one time she referred in passing to something that would be happening a year later and I had this passing thought, "No way we'll still be together at that point." I think I'm just holding on for a more natural break off point, not the crazy shit that happened before.

It also didn't help that over the weekend I hung out with an old friend of mine from college who also lives in LA. I only see her about once every couple months, and every time I do I'm reminded that I have a crush on her. I know she doesn't like me like that, because it would have happened by now if it did. I've just found that there are times when I'm casually seeing someone else, I hang out with her, and realize that I'd rather be with her than the girl I'm dating.

I know that's a sign that I'm not with "the one".

In other news, I just started my new program to write an original spec pilot to use as a writing sample, so hopefully someday soon I'll be able to get staffed on a TV show or something and have the work life that I want, which will hopefully allow me to get closer to the personal life I want.

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