Friday, March 20, 2009

This may be the end of me and MissCrazy

There's been some weird unspoken tension between MissCrazy and I recently, and it seems she's now found the fight to use as an excuse to end things. To be honest, I'm kind of relieved. I didn't see this going long term at all, and I'm glad to be getting out before things get too complicated.

Here's what happened. Every Thursday night I try to write a spec pilot script with my roommate. This is a project I take very seriously, but due to difficulty with our schedules, we can't really find time to work on it more than once a week, and even then, we miss it sometimes. I don't cancel it lightly. MissCrazy knows this.

MissCrazy also isn't a fan of phone calls, she only likes to text. I got a text from her while my roommate and I were working, saying that she was pretty sure she had caught a cold and pinkeye. I asked if she was okay and said something amusing to cheer her up.

This morning I texted her to ask if she was feeling any better, and she got all passive aggressive and said that one of her other friends offered to bring her soup. She was pissed that I hadn't dropped everything to bring it to her last night.

Now, I've gotten her soup before when she was feeling sick. But she let me know that she wasn't feeling well last minute, and even if I had canceled my writing night to rush to her bedside, by the time I got there she would already be going to sleep, and probably in no mood for soup. And this writing project is a very big priority for me, and she knows that.

The real reason she's pissed is that I'm not making HER my top priority. She in no way makes me her top priority, so it's kind of hypocritical for her to expect that of me. On Sunday we went to Disneyland, and even though she denied it at first when I asked her, she was pissed that we left early. Roommate's girlfriend was making a big dinner for everyone and frankly I wanted to be included in that because I'd felt a bit left out when it comes to our little LA family recently. It was important to me to be there, but at the same time it showed her that my friends (who I think of like family out here) are either just as important or more important to me than she is.

But she habitually flakes out on me, canceling for the last minute. She claims it's for work, but I have the feeling that sometimes it's not. She likes going to fancy events and having rich successful guys hit on her, and I'm an assistant who can't afford to take her to the expensive restaurants in town. She frankly doesn't show me much trust or let me in, which leads me to not be able to trust her.

So when she takes this fight as an excuse to drop this whole thing, I'm perfectly happy walking away. Between work, my own writing, and the people who have been true friends to me out here, I have more than enough on my plate. I never thought of MissCrazy as "the one" and ending things now is just as good if not better than ending them at some other time down the road.

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